Beware the traits that make you more attractive to an abuser!
Ever wondered why it is you keep ending up in relationships that hurt you, rather than nurture you?
How many of the following traits do you recognise in yourself?
- You’re way too nice – anything else would seem selfish to you.
- You are constantly giving the benefit of the doubt to others who repeatedly let you down.
- You’re a very good listener and empathiser.
- You’re a ‘fixer’ or rescuer, but may also need rescuing yourself!
- You’re extremely laid back – you can tolerate the intolerable.
- You’re extremely caring of others – but don’t show enough care for yourself.
- You don’t truly value yourself, your time, your achievements, your mind, your love, your body.
- You don’t have healthy boundaries – you constantly give in to the demands and wishes of others.
- You’re loyal and tenacious to a fault – you stay in toxic or challenging situations far too long.
- You try to be a very ‘good’ person and you become the hope for other who say they want to be a better person.
- You regularly feel guilty and constantly find yourself saying sorry.
- You have given up on being truly loved, nurtured and valued as others are.
- Recognising yourself?
Why would someone else value and care for you, if you don’t value and care for you – I mean, what sort of an example are you setting for others?
Perhaps the relationships of your childhood and youth weren’t truly valuing and nurturing – if so, this may have set you up to believe you didn’t deserve to be loved or that you had to work very hard at being loved? Could it be possible that you were just being a kid (as all kids are, as they grow and learn and mature) and that rather than you being difficult to love, those given the job of raising you, for whatever reason, had difficulty loving, caring and nurturing as a child needed?
Changing how you are treated in relationships, starts with you changing how you treat yourself – if you truly cared for you, you wouldn’t allow you to stay in cold, unloving or abusive relationships now would you?
Need help to escape relationships that don’t nurture you?
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